The "Heartless" Girl

By: Georgina Antwi-Boasiako 

August 26, 2023 

"George has no heart" is a term I've come to embrace.

Allow me to be absolutely candid with you for a second. I was the girl who was always trying to solve problems she hadn't even caused. Despite the fact that she had been wronged, I was the one who apologized or took initiative to solve it. I used to believe that if you are nice to people, they will return the favor. That's the kind of person I was. I allowed people to take advantage of my love. 

I truly had the best life. I got into Ohio State University with the support of numerous folks who are still by my side, and on top of that, I received a full scholarship. This was my life until reality struck, and it struck brutally.

I went into my freshman year with the same cooky attitude that most of us bring to college. That is, college is similar to high school, but with more flexibility and free time. I had extensive pauses between classes, so I relaxed instead of reviewing things for my next or previous class. I was disorganized, and as a result, I was failing most of my classes. As if it wasn't enough, I also lost my younger sister. The sister who had told me a week before that she had decided to move in with our father and attend my middle school, KIPP, was no longer here. She was gone in an instant, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

It wasn't my sister's death that made me a "heartless" girl; it was the lesson that came with losing her so quickly and without any warning. I learnt that life is, indeed, short. My sister was fine the week before she passed. We went to a family gathering, ate, danced (of course), and had a good time. She was completely fine. Following her passing, I sat down and really examined my life.

I had the opportunity to attend college for free, but what was I going to do with it? What was I supposed to do with a family that was rooting for me? Was the major I chose really what I wanted to do? Who am I now, and who do I hope to become in the future? What kind of example do I want to set for my younger siblings? These were the kinds of questions I was asking myself. 

When I found the answers to those questions, I became the "heartless" girl. It was my entire existence. I modified a lot of things about how I went about my daily routine. I switched from neuroscience to accounting and minored in criminology. I became more mindful of what I put into my body. I enrolled in a program that not only taught me how to study for all of my classes, but also helped me raise my GPA. I adjusted a lot of things, and while they were minor, they benefited me a lot. Those things have also helped me get through some difficult situations. So, what does the "heartless girl" really mean? 

The "heartless" girl is someone who has established goals for their life. Who have realized the importance of being cautious about who they accept into their lives. That you removing certain people from your life does not imply that you dislike them or that you are a bad person. It simply indicates that their role in your life has come to an end. Failure is not a setback, but rather a chance to learn and grow. Most importantly, you can still be that girl who loves and cares deeply without causing herself harm. That you will always come first. That's the heartless girl. 

So, do not EVER let anyone make you feel bad about making decisions for your own sanity and peace of mind. Always put your best foot forward. Putting yourself first doesn't mean you don't care about others or that you are a narcissistic person. It means you're wise enough to realize you can't assist others unless you first help yourself.

Finally, make certain that the things you do on a daily basis do not harm those who actually care about you. You will not always get it perfectly, but that is where communication comes in. Always be receptive to feedback, good or bad, but also learn from whom you SHOULD receive it. There will be people in your life who may appear to have your best interests at heart, but it is only a mask they put on. Learn to follow your instincts and never be afraid to let people go, no matter who they are or how long they've been in your life . It's fine to let folks go; that's just part of life. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

I have a lot more to share but will save it for a future post.